This week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County opens with Lydia and Tamara meeting for cheese and gossip at Tamara’s house.
Lydia tries to convince Tamara to meet with Alexis and mend fences. Tamara, for once, agrees to do the right thing and attempt to fix the situation.
Meanwhile, Gretchen and Heather are busy planning Tamara’s bachelorette party in Mexico. They argue over whether to have a classy spa day and dinner or male strippers; with Gretchen, of course, pushing for strippers over class.
Alexis and Vicki meet for dinner and share amazement that Tamara has reached out to Alexis to end their fight. Vicki tries to convince Alexis to come, uninvited, to Tamara’s bachelorette party and then complains that she has to buy Tamara a gift because, “This is her third wedding.”
Tamara and Alexis meet with Lydia chaperoning, ordering lemon drop cocktails to lubricate their awkward lunch. Tamara whole heartedly apologizes to Alexis, bringing her to tears before breaking down herself. Lydia smiles her giant toothy grin and exclaims, “I feel like I set you guys up on a blind date that went well.”
Gretchen meets up with one of the original OC housewives Lauri who previously dated Gretchen’s boyfriend Slade or as Gretchen puts it, “He banged her once or twice.” The subject turns to Vicki and Lauri drops the bomb that Vicki constantly cheated on her ex-husband. Lauri tells the camera, “I definitely know where the bones are buried. Vicki better watch out.” Which might be one of the best don’t eff with me threats of all time on this show.
Ever the innocent one on the show, Lydia stress out about seeing her first stripper on the bachelorette trip saying, “I have two boys, a dog, and a husband. I see enough penises.”
The girls start the trip with beers, bickering, and penis lollypops. Lydia tries to contain her shock and horror at the behavior of the women she’s surrounded with. They leave for their rooms to get ready for a fancy dinner and Tamara yells, “Bring on the penises!” The dinner is incredibly awkward, especially when Lydia tries to order chips and salsa at the five star restaurant. Vicki tries to coerce the girls to get drunk at her favorite local bar, using the phrase “whoop it up” about five thousand times at dinner alone. Tamara sums up the tense dinner perfectly by asking, “What’s next, a yeast infection?”
Vicki, Tamara, and Lydia ditch Heather and Gretchen while they’re in the restaurant bathroom to head out to a local bar to “whoop it up.” Gretchen and Heather fume in the limo while the rest of the girls get crazy drunk on the streets of Mexico. Might I remind everyone at this point that most of these women are over forty years old?
Next week, the stripper shows up, the girls fight, and Gretchen cries. See you then!