“Airplane!” & “Naked Gun” Quotes And One-Liners

Leslie Nielsen left us with a great wealth of quotes and one liners from his most famous movies. The actor, well known for his dead pan delivery of hilarious lines, died yesterday at the age of 84.

Leslie Nielsen had appearances in more than 100 movies and 1500 television shows, but he will be most remembers for his roles as Dr. Rumack in “Airplane!” and Lt. Frank Drebin in the “Naked Gun” movies.

Some of his most famous quotes and one-liners follow. Enjoy the memories…

First, some quotes from “Airplane!”, in which Leslie Nielsen played Dr. Rumack:

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious.
Rumack: I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.

Rumack: I won’t deceive you, Mr. Striker. We’re running out of time.
Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I’m doing everything I can… and stop calling me Shirley!

Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital!–what is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain: I can’t tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I’m a doctor.
Captain: No. I mean I’m just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can’t you take a guess?
Captain: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?

And quotes from the “Naked Gun” movies, in which Leslie Nielsen played Lt. Frank Drebin:

Drebin: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

Drebin: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Drebin: No, the worst.

Drebin: It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano; sure, it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

 Drebin: That’s the red-light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.
Captain Hocken: Sex, Frank?
Drebin: Uh, no, not right now, Ed.

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Faroh Sauder has spent more than 30 years working as a journalist and educator. He has written on politics, international affairs, civil rights, and consumer education. Now mostly retired, Faroh continues to stay current on tech and consumer issues and reports on his interests here at News For Shoppers.