I’m still not a fan of these long “remember what happened last time” segments on Game of Thrones.
It’s GOT, we’ve been salivating over every last detail. We KNOW what happened last time. Season 6 has been full of surprises so far and Episode 4 Book of The Stranger is no different.
The new storylines move quickly. I was sure Jon and Sansa would miss each other at The Wall, because let’s face it, the Starks cannot have nice things. We have been waiting for a Stark children reunion for so long. I didn’t think it ever would happen. I may or may not have cried when Jon and Sansa were reunited.
Sansa has finally turned into a straight G and I for one am here for it! Unfortunately Jon is not. She’s like strap up and lets run up in Winterfell. Jon’s like, Nah I’m tired. He needs to get with the program. The only way the to keep Sansa safe and ever get their lives back is to fight back, together.
Robin of the Vale has grown taller but still looks malnourished. He looks like he’ll keel over at any moment. He is only slightly less useless than Tommen. Littlefinger is back and he’s as slimy as ever. I think I’ve grown tired of Littlefinger. The endless mystery, constant side changing, the continuous double crossing. It’s gotten a little played out. I need to know what he actually WANTS in order to care about him again. Until then I’ll pass.
Tyrion is in Meereen attempting to use Westeros style diplomacy to make peace. I see problems here. 1) This isn’t Westeros. 2) Dany is not going to be happy that he gave the slavers back their whips. The people who have followed her may abandon her now that her “council” has gone back on the whole chain breaking thing. Grey Worm and Missandei think this is a terrible idea. Tyrion agrees that slavery is bad because he has experienced it. Insert side-eye here. Missandei throws mucho shade at this ridiculous statement. He was literally a slave for an episode. My only hope is that he has something better up his sleeves.
Theon makes it home rather quickly. How? Did he have cab fare? An uber? Yara is not happy to see him until he promises to help her seize the salt throne.
Jorah and Saario playing true detective is weird and stilted. Some of the comedy here feels forced and un-GOTish. This storyline also is moving at an accelerated pace. It normally would have taken all season to find Daenerys. It seems she has her own plan for the Real Housewives and didn’t need them anyway.
The High Sparrow is so damn annoying. But not quite scary yet, not terrifying. He’s a villain but he won’t slit your throat or put your head on a spike. He will just literally talk you to death.
Loras looks like he’s been visited by Ramsey! What the heck has happened to him in there? I find it interesting that both Margaery and Cersei were abe to withstand their imprisonment without breaking. Loras has been reduced to a blubbering mess and Tommen rendered even more useless. I have to say I think Joffrey would have handled the High Sparrow like a boss. Margaery is being set-up to take a walk of shame like Cersei. The Queen of Thorns is like Hell Nah! Finally, the Tyrells put their pettiness aside and agree with Jaime and Cersei’s plan. For once they are all on the same side.
Uggghh, back to Ramsey, that evil little hobbit… At this point, Ramsey has become just a one-dimensional serial killer. Who actually thought Osha might be able to take him out? No one. As soon as we saw the knife we knew he’d kill her. And for what? Nothing. It wasn’t a power play. We didn’t learn anything new. We had no emotional investment. We don’t need any other reason to hate him. We haven’t seen her for 3 seasons. We saw her for 3 minutes and she dies. So what.
Okay, now it took me all of 5 seconds to ‘ship Tormund and Brienne. They are #CoupleGoals! Now that weird killer nursery rhyme Ramsey sent Jon, what was that? I don’t understand. Was it like a battle rap? It felt weird, not in the style of the character or the show. However, it served its purpose. They have no choice but to get it poppin. Tormund is like ‘put me down for 2000 wildings’. This is going to be the fight we’ve been waiting for. I want Sansa to kill Ramsey. It’s totally poetic justice.
Dany goes to meet with a bunch of random old Khals who are going to decide if she joins the cast of the Real Housewives of the Dothraki or gets raped? I’m sorry but why are these the only two choices?
Anyway in true housewife style, Dany starts flipping tables. Tables of fire. Everybody dies, everybody burns and Daenerys Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Mother of Dragons, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals, the Breaker of Chains, the Unburnt, walks out like “Who Runs da World?” Naked, but hair blowing like she’s in a Beyonce concert, it was everything. From the looks of things she just gained a few thousand Instagram followers and a new army.
It’s game on.